Um. Halp? :D?

[tree_talking]

As some of you know, I have not been having a wonderful few weeks. My issues are parti-colored and diverse, and I have more of them than National Geographic. And...I'm really not up for discussing them.

Tomorrow is the ten year anniversary of my mother's death, and this coming Sunday is Mother's Day. Neither of these days is my favorite, obviously. It's no wonder that my depression/anxiety issues are at an all time high at the moment.

I'm trying to take on a whole different workload, not at work, but at home. My husband is working fourteen hour days five days a week, and six hours on Saturday. I have to learn to cook, and I need to figure out how to adjust my workload to accommodate taking care of a house, my kid, and a cat.

And then, there's the fact that I haven't written anything in my novel in months and months and I haven't touched my harp in a long time either. I'm dying to perform in front of people (and not just at church, which I don't consider 'performance' per se), but have absolutely NO opportunities to do so. I have not picked up a book since last summer, and my attention span for that sort of thing seems non-existent.

I barely do my hair in the morning. Makeup? Yeah, right. I haven't bought new clothing in ages. And...that's not really an option right now. I'm struggling to eat right and exercise.

I'm struggling with everything.

Now, I'm planning to use flylady.com 's system of 15 minute chores to deal with a lot of this stuff. However...

I'd appreciate any suggestions from my better-organized friends. Suggestions, encouragement, amusing anecdotes, whatever you've got to help me get back to me would be appreciated.

Thanks, guys.

Comments

[proudofthefish.livejournal.com]

Have a crock pot? It's hard to mess up, and cooks while you do other stuff. I like this site. http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/

[shellebelle93.livejournal.com]

I do have one! and that's a neat site. I'm going to have to try some of those recipes.

Thank you!

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

One step at a time. Put together, everything can be so overwhelming. So pick just one or two things and work on those until they get easier. We all learn in four phases and it's a really simple model. The first phase is called unconscious incompetence, having no idea we don't know what we're doing. The second phase is conscious incompetence, knowing we don't know what we're doing and not knowing how to do any of it. The third phase is knowing we don't know and learning how to do it (conscious competence), and the fourth phase is unconscious competence, knowing and the doing becomes automatic. When we're stuck in phase two -- knowing we don't know but not knowing what to do about it -- everything can seem impossible.

So pick ONE thing. Pick dinner. Pick learning to cook a few simple things successfully. Not everything has to be a big deal; you can be as creative with cooking as with writing or playing music. It's just channeled differently. Pick that one thing, plan yourself out meals for ONE week, and go through that cycle ONE time.

Also, if you're going to take on one new thing, drop one old thing that's no longer serving you. Especially if you feel you only have so much room in your life.

And know that people love you.

[shellebelle93.livejournal.com]

Thank you, G. You always know good things to tell me and I appreciate it. *hugs*

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

I've been waiting to use this line. Here goes.

I'm just a humble bounty hunter, ma'am.

♥

[arasnaem.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite things to do is to make lists. Crossing stuff off can be very, very empowering. And it doesn't even have to be lists of "big" stuff. Lots of times I'll include little things (example: clean for 10 minutes, type for 5, put away laundry, choose a new book) that are easy to cross off, but make me feel accomplished knowing what I've done.

Also, for cooking, Campbell's soup has a TON of recipes (just look up the website)--and most of them involve using cans of soup, so they can be easy to make. Then, as you become more comfortable/more adventurous with cooking, you can try making those tomato/cream/gravy bases on your own.

[shellebelle93.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks! Lists are good. I do lots of lists...I just need to make sure I look at them!

[the_croupier]

I'll second the crock pot idea. Simple to use, and they work wonderfully for busy days.

[shellebelle93.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *hugs*

Nice to see a guy chiming in on my frazzled post!

[the_croupier]

*hugs back*

I hope your schedule gets at least a little less crazy-making before too long.

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

My coach goes by the 15-minute rule, and I find it works. Any project that's too big or ugly to contemplate, just set the alarm and do 15 minutes of it. I can get the house clean that way.

You can also train yourself to do one extra thing a day, like makeup. I have this on personal authority. ;-) It takes some doing, sure, but it's sort of a perpetual motion machine of positive reinforcement. 1. I'll do this so I don't feel like such a jerk. 2. That was pretty easy, and I look good. 3. I want to look good today, because I feel better when I do.

If you can afford it, and if you live where these things are available, why not take a basic cooking class? You'd be there with other people, with someone showing you the correct techniques. It's a lot easier than you think, once you know what the instructions actually mean!

If you can't afford it, try those tiny little Martha Stewart food magazines at the supermarket checkout: they're all about the easy, and they're tasty too.

Or go to your library and look for a cookbook with good pictures and explanations of basic techniques, and work from that.

[shellebelle93.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you!

Yeah, 15 minutes seems doable, definitely.

I think I *might* be able to manage that. ;)

[lostinapapercup.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you could use a week of rest, relaxation, and no-fat bonbons.

I don't have a whole lot of wisdom, I'm afraid. I'm notoriously bad about procrastinating, and where my original writing is concerned I'm horrible about finishing the projects I start. I find that for me it's okay not to be disciplined about my actual writing process or what part of my story I write when, but I'm starting to realize that disciplining myself is what's key. Maybe that's something best to do in increments to start off with, like three hours a week you set aside just to write. Even if you have a block and end up needing to write fanfic, just getting yourself to write in the time you set aside for it can be important.

I have never considered myself much of a chef and left to my own devices would often sooner snack than cook for myself, but I've been doing more cooking recently. What threw the switch for me was stumbling across a blog with recipes that I was genuinely excited to try. Smitten Kitchen has great recipes, some complicated and some incredibly easy, and even gorgeous pictures of steps in the process so I can compare what I have to what she did and feel like I'm on the right track. You don't have to be a hardcore chef to make stuff you're interested in and feel good about it.

I hope things get better for you.

[shellebelle93.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Paige!

That week sounds good, really.

I'm going to try to set aside some time. My biggest problem is that my perfectionism gets in the way and prevents me from doing much of anything.

I'm gonna check out that site! Thank you! *hugs*

[m-m-m-mother.livejournal.com]

Being a 20 year old kid with a part time job and no children makes it impossible for me to offer you useful advice, so I will instead offer you a lot of hugs. *HUGS*

[shellebelle93.livejournal.com]

You are such a sweetie. *hugs* Thank you.

[aisforamy]

Honey, I am right there with you on having a crappy past couple of months. Mother's Day is the anniversary of my father's death, believe it or not, and I know how hard it can be. *hugs*

As for learning to cook, there are TONS of easy things you can pick up at the grocery store to make it easier. Many frozen veggies come in bags that steam cook in the microwave and turn out well, and there are some things in the frozen food isle that you can just dump into a crock pot and leave until you're ready to eat. YouTube can be helpful too! Just type in "How to cook..." and whatever it is you want to cook, and there is a good chance there will be a tutorial!

I am a terrible housekeeper, but I like the idea of fifteen minute tasks. Also, if you make a "chore list" of things that have to be done on a daily basis to help you get into a routine. Make sure that you put "take a break" on that list, more than once, even! It's easy to get overwhelmed and then feel guilty for taking time for yourself, but you'd be amazed at how much better your outlook can be after a little downtime (even just ten or fifteen minutes).

You might ask your doctor if you can increase the dosage on your anti depressant meds, and if you're not already taking an anti-anxiety medication, maybe ask for that too, to take on an as-needed basis. Even a low dosage can take the edge off of the overwhelming feeling when it gets to crisis point.

I wish I was there to give you a hug in person, but since I can't, see icon!