tree_talking: (Purely Medicinal)
[personal profile] tree_talking

So I have had a bit of drama lately in My So-Called Pagan Life. And it's really hard to explain but the upshot of it is that I might need to stop learning from the particular teacher I'm taking classes in.

We were "working" with a woman (hereafter called S) on a youth group for Pagan kids. I have "working" in quotes because the person we were to be "working" with did NOTHING. We would try to communicate with S via text and email and not even an acknowledgement did she send back. S would open her witchy store, bring half of her brood of 9 kids (the ones old enough for what we were doing), and that would be about it. My husband wrote ALL the material, created the rituals, and came up with all but one of the activities. We also paid for the ritual foods, the supplies for any activities we did, and the pizza afterwards (except for ONE time). Also, since she was non-communicative, I took the part of Priestess for the group.

Things blew up when hubby started a "gofundme" for raising money to pay for a lawywer to help us get a non-profit started, and S blasted my husband in a private message on Facebook (oh look, she can use the computer when it suits her) to say "WHY AM I NOT MENTIONED WHEN IT WAS MY IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE?????"

We were supposed to get together to hammer things out, to come to some sort of agreement, because in addition to "working" with S on the youth group, we were also in the same second-degree Wicca course, and our class had to work very closely together. And also be in circles and hold rituals, in other words be "in perfect love and perfect trust".

Well, the blow up happened right before Christmas, and the meeting JUST happened on this past Wednesday. My husband and this woman met with our teacher as "mediator". I was not there as I had a prior engagement.

Well, let me tell you, the meeting didn't go well. According to my husband, started out by directly telling my husband that he was not welcome to have meetings at the store any longer, and then when the meeting ACTUALLY started, she began LYING LIKE A RUG. Little things (because this whole disagreement was about little things, no communication and insecurity on S's part), like "he'd never actually call me when I said that it would be the best way to get hold of me" when what she ACTUALLY said (because I was there) was "Oh, texting is the best way to get hold of me." But the main crux of her argument was "since you two lost the weight, you've been arrogant and snobby". I couldn't believe it when my husband told me that.

The meeting went for an hour and a half, and then my husband decided that the character assassination and lying had gone on as long as he could stand and left. But not before S started crying and Teacher started comforting her.

So basically, this woman manipulated and lied, Teacher is falling for it, and now we have to decide if we're going to continue. Hubby sent Teacher an e-mail, and there has been no response yet.

We probably should have had someone different than Teacher as the mediator, because S owns the store that Teacher has the Wicca classes we attend in (she also has a second class, farther away, that we could attend if we want), and I have a feeling that Teacher was more inclined to bypass in favor of S to keep the classes there.

Honestly, I was all set to take classes at the group that was farther away until my husband told me that Teacher was basically swayed over to S's way of seeing things because "crying". Who knows what she thinks, because she hasn't replied to hubby's e-mail.

So now Hubby feels like absolute shit, he's depressed and I don't blame him, and I'm just...honestly I'm pissed, and worried about him. And strongly considering stopping classes no matter what happens. The problem with stopping is that I will really miss people, and this is the place where I see them. It just makes me incredibly sad, and kind of like I've wasted so much time and I won't have attained my second degree anyway. :(

There have been a couple of things about the way Teacher does things that I wasn't sure I agreed with but bypassed because "what do I know". I know that isn't a good reason to go along with things, but I am still learning to trust my own intuition. I'm better than I used to be!

Wow, did you get through all that rambling? If you did, I salute you. <3 But I really did need to ramble, I feel better. Not much, but a little.

Unfortunately, people are people, no matter what spiritual path you're on.

(no subject)

Date: 2015-02-06 08:38 pm (UTC)
in_the_blue: (narcissa)
From: [personal profile] in_the_blue
Like you said, people are people no matter what other things they do, either well or poorly. I think as people on our own spiritual paths, all we can do is to acknowledge them in whatever way they deserve, then move along.

When people refuse to communicate, they get what they get. It's no one else's fault if they're misunderstood. Also, people in positions of power tend to take advantage of that power, seemingly in the same way you & Joe were taken advantage of. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, or so goes the phrase. It doesn't have to, but it's seductive, and people in all walks of life love to make power plays.

The whole "since you two lost weight" thing is a subtle and completely passive-aggressive dig at the pair of you, you recognize that, right? Because she can no longer lord it over you wrt weight issues, and that puts her off her game because she's got less control.

Well, I'm a Scorpio like Joe so I bet he'd agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly: fuck her. Let her go find other people to manipulate. You two will find someone willing to see you for the wonderful people you are rather than for what financial things you can bring to the table to make her life easier. Who's got the time for that kind of shit?

Cut the losses and move along, and do it with no shortage of self-confidence and pride.

(no subject)

Date: 2015-02-07 06:07 am (UTC)
in_the_blue: (laharl)
From: [personal profile] in_the_blue
I went to answer this earlier, and then the power went out for about eight hours. So sorry for the delay!

For me, one of the goals in learning is to question what the teacher teaches. I mean, they're not infallible, and any good teacher won't mind the disagreements. You have to take what you can from what's presented then put your own spin on things - that's how learning evolves.

You can always finish up the second degree with this class and then move along, if that's what you want to do. Just don't let someone push you around. That's not cool, no matter what's being taught. <3

(no subject)

Date: 2015-02-06 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I haven't read it but wanted to give you a hug if you want it. I'd send you a drink but haven't worked that out with technology yet.

*edit achieved*
Okay I read it and the jab about your weight loss was rude beyond words. Gee, so sorry you had to deal with a loser like this. I am sorry about your husband and hope this doesn't take the joy out of him. *hugs*
Edited Date: 2015-02-06 10:03 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2015-02-07 03:22 am (UTC)
ext_54943: (nyanko chips by creamiiicandy)
From: [identity profile]
I hope not too. *Hugs* I'm sorry we had to deal with it too but I suppose like many things, It's a learning experience.

It's just a shame that "learning experiences" have to SUCK DONKEY BALLS.

Thanks, Crystal!

(no subject)

Date: 2015-02-07 03:15 am (UTC)
h311ybean: (bratty)
From: [personal profile] h311ybean

I'm so sorry to hear about all this. The way you and your hubby have been treated just boggles the mind. I really hope things work out for the two of you (no comment anymore about S and Teacher). *BIG BIG HUGS*

(no subject)

Date: 2015-02-07 03:21 am (UTC)
ext_54943: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
I think they will but not in a way I'm expecting right now, or that anyone else is expecting right now. I've been feeling for a while that a change needed to be made one way or another. I've got a few days to see what will happen, at least.

*hugs* Thank you, Cara! <3

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