tree_talking: (nyanko chips by creamiiicandy)
[personal profile] tree_talking
So shit happened on Sunday that I really don’t want to discuss. I wasn’t involved except that my husband and brother were involved and pretty much…said some horrible things and hubby is pretty upset, and I’m pretty upset.

It brought some issues to the front that we usually don’t deal with, and the upshot of all of this is that we’re each going to start therapy in the next couple of weeks. I still have to call—I’m scared. But I’m more scared not to do it. I’ve known that I need to do this for a long time, several years, but I’ve been fighting it because My Family is From New England and We Ignore Shit till it’s too late. We are Stoic New Englanders (insert stereotype here). I have trouble asking for help and hate to admit weakness.

I’m tired of fighting my need for this. I’m tired of trying to do it on my own. I thought I had this conquered but nope. Going to try and unravel the crapola that has run through my life is going to be difficult…I hope it’ll be worth it.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-05-10 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Not a damn thing wrong with saying "hey, a little help?" Most people can't do it, but it's no failing. That's why there are counselors in the first place.

Unraveling the nonsense is always worth it, even if it only gives you little glimpses of a bigger picture.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-05-10 11:26 am (UTC)
ext_54943: (nyanko chips by creamiiicandy)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks, G.

I'm just scared and I just need to do this thing.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-05-10 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Good luck, I'm sure you'll do well. It's really helpful. And I know what you mean about stoic New Englanders..... I waited until it was super mega dire before I got any help myself!

(no subject)

Date: 2013-05-11 12:22 am (UTC)
ext_54943: (nyanko chips by creamiiicandy)
From: [identity profile]
I hope so. I made the initial call today and they're gonna call me back on Monday.

I think nearly everything I've done to myself in my life stems almost completely from the New Englander mindset taken to the nth degree. It's kind of scary.

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